Finding Your Joy Again When Life Feels Different

Why don’t I feel like myself anymore?

Where did my joy go?

And how do I find it again?

If you’ve found yourself asking any of these questions, you’re not alone, my friend.

We talked about this in the first post in this series: joy is not the same thing as happiness. 

Midlife has a way of bringing us face-to-face with changes we didn’t necessarily see coming. Some are wonderful. Some are difficult. And some are simply…different.

The children who once needed us for nearly everything may need us differently now.

Our marriages can enter a new season.

Our careers may not look the way we imagined.

Our bodies certainly don’t always cooperate with the plans we had for them!

And sometimes the dreams we carried for years need to be revisited.

All of these changes can leave us asking:

Who am I now?

But what if midlife isn’t the end of something?

What if it’s an invitation to discover what God is doing now?

Midlife Doesn’t Have to Steal Your Joy

If you’ve been around here for any length of time, you know I talk a lot about abiding in Christ.

Abiding means remaining. Staying connected. Making our home in Christ rather than constantly striving to figure everything out on our own.

Jesus said:

“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
— John 15:11

I love that Jesus doesn’t tell us to create our own joy.

He tells us to remain in Him.

And as we remain connected to Him, His life produces fruit in us—including joy.

That’s important because sometimes we assume we’ve lost our joy when what has really happened is that the season around us has changed.

Midlife doesn’t necessarily steal our joy.

Sometimes, it simply reveals where we’ve attached our identity to things that are changing.

Maybe your identity was deeply connected to being a mom of young children.

Maybe your career gave you a strong sense of purpose.

Maybe your home was the gathering place for everyone.

Maybe you were the one everyone needed.

And now…things are different.

That doesn’t mean your life is less meaningful.

It may mean God is inviting you to discover a new expression of who He created you to be.

A Personal Journey Through Midlife Change

Let me tell you a little story.

Years ago, I remember feeling frustrated and unsettled during what seemed like an ordinary moment with my husband, Mike.

We had moved from our longtime home into a temporary apartment, and neither of us was quite sure what the future held.

That temporary situation turned into something much longer than we anticipated.

Over the next decade, we moved six times.

Six.

And with every move came another round of packing, unpacking, adjusting, making new routines, letting go of old ones, and trying to figure out what “home” meant in that particular season.

There were times when I felt like my routines, identity, and expectations were constantly being rearranged.

And somewhere in the middle of all that change, I found myself asking:

“Where is my joy?”

Maybe you’ve asked a similar question.

Maybe your circumstances haven’t involved six moves, but you’ve experienced your own version of upheaval.

Perhaps your children have left home.

Perhaps your marriage looks different.

Perhaps you’ve changed jobs—or want to.

Perhaps you’ve become a caregiver.

Perhaps you’re finally realizing that some of the dreams you had years ago don’t fit the woman you’ve become.

Your value was never determined by how many people needed you. Your identity is rooted in Christ. 

Change can make us feel unsettled.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

We aren’t finished just because a chapter has ended.

God isn’t finished with us.

Our lives still matter.

Our experience still matters.

Our wisdom still matters.

And there may be things God has prepared for us that we couldn’t have imagined in an earlier season of life.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us:

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

There is a season for everything.

And that includes this season.

 

🎥WATCH THE VIDEO: Reclaiming Joy in Midlife 

 

Reclaiming Joy Isn’t About Going Backward

When we talk about reclaiming joy in midlife, we need to be careful about what we mean.

I’m not talking about trying to become the woman you were twenty years ago.

You don’t need to recreate your younger self.

You don’t need to go backward.

You get to move forward.

The woman you are today has walked through things the younger version of you hadn’t experienced yet.

You’ve learned.

You’ve loved.

You’ve lost.

You’ve endured.

You’ve grown.

You’ve gained wisdom.

And God can use every bit of it.

So perhaps reclaiming joy isn’t about finding the person you used to be.

Perhaps it’s about discovering who God is inviting you to become now.

And that begins with three simple steps.

3 Ways to Begin Reclaiming Your Joy in Midlife

1. Receive This Season Instead of Resisting It

I know.

This one can be hard.

It’s not always easy to acknowledge that we’re entering a different season of life.

We may not be as young as we once were. Our bodies may be changing. Our responsibilities may look different. People we love may need us in new ways—or perhaps not need us in the same ways at all.

But what if instead of constantly resisting what has changed, we asked:

“God, what are You doing in me in this season?”

Receiving a season doesn’t mean we have to love every part of it.

It doesn’t mean we can’t grieve what we’ve lost.

It means we stop fighting reality long enough to notice where God is present.

There is wisdom in this season.

There is beauty in this season.

There is purpose in this season.

And there can be joy here, too.

You may not be the gravitational center of everyone’s world anymore—and honestly, that’s okay.

Your value was never determined by how many people needed you.

Your identity is rooted in Christ.

2. Reconnect With What God Has Placed Within You

One of the beautiful things about midlife is that we often have a little more room to ask questions we didn’t have time to ask before.

What has God placed inside of me?

What dreams have I set aside?

What gifts have I neglected?

What do I still feel passionate about?

Maybe it’s time to revisit some of those things.

Not because every dream automatically came from God.

And not because we need to add another list of accomplishments to our already-full lives.

But because sometimes God has been patiently waiting for us to notice something He planted in us years ago.

So ask Him:

“God, is the time now?”

“What do You have for me in this season?”

And then listen.

Maybe the answer is to begin something new.

Maybe it’s to deepen something you’ve already started.

Maybe it’s to serve.

Maybe it’s to create.

Maybe it’s to mentor someone coming behind you.

Maybe it’s simply to rest for a while.

There is no one-size-fits-all definition of purpose in midlife.

The important thing is that we invite God into the conversation.

3. Make Room for Delight

This might be my favorite one.

Because somewhere along the way, many of us became very good at taking care of everyone else—and not always very good at receiving joy for ourselves.

But Scripture gives us permission to delight in God’s good gifts.

Psalm 16:11 says:

“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

Joy is found in God’s presence.

And sometimes that joy comes through very ordinary things.

A cup of coffee with a friend.

A walk outside.

A good book.

A new hobby.

A trip you’ve been putting off.

A nap.

Dinner with people you love.

Music that makes you want to sing.

Time with your grandchildren.

A beautiful sunset.

A quiet morning with your Bible.

These things aren’t necessarily frivolous.

Delight can be a way of receiving God’s goodness.

So give yourself permission to enjoy your life.

You don’t have to earn every moment of rest.

You don’t have to justify every activity that brings you delight.

And you don’t have to feel guilty because you’re enjoying something when someone else is walking through a difficult season.

Joy isn’t a betrayal of someone else’s pain.

You can care deeply about the hard things in life while still receiving the good gifts God places in front of you today.

Your Life Still Matters

Friend, if you’re somewhere in the middle of a major life transition right now, I want you to hear this:

Your life still matters.

You are not “past your prime.”

You are not too old.

You haven’t missed every opportunity God had for you.

And you’re not disqualified because one chapter of your life has ended.

There may be a new assignment.

New relationships.

New opportunities.

New ways to serve.

New adventures.

New things to learn.

New ways to use the wisdom God has given you.

And yes—there may also be grief.

That’s okay.

We don’t have to rush through the grieving process to get to the next exciting thing.

We can grieve what was while remaining open to what God is doing now.

That’s part of abiding.

We remain.

We trust.

We listen.

We receive.

And we allow God to meet us right where we are.

Reclaiming Joy Starts Here

Maybe you’ve been asking, “Where did my joy go?”

Perhaps the answer isn’t that you’ve lost it forever.

Perhaps you’re simply learning how to experience joy in a new season.

The joy you had in your twenties may look different from the joy you experience now.

And that’s okay.

You don’t have to go backward to find it.

You can meet God right here.

Right in this season.

Right in this changing version of your life.

Right in the middle of the questions you don’t yet have answers for.

And as you remain rooted in Him, you may discover that joy isn’t something you have to chase.

It’s something you can receive.

Today.

Right where you are.

Rooted Reflection

Take a few quiet moments with the Lord and consider:

🌿What part of my life am I grieving because it has changed?

🌿What might God be inviting me to receive, explore, or enjoy in this new
    season?

And perhaps ask Him one more question:

🌿“God, what are You doing in me and through me…right now?”

Then give yourself permission to listen.

You Don’t Have to Navigate Midlife Alone

One of the reasons I created Rooted & Established is because I know how easy it is for Christian women to walk through seasons of change feeling like they’re supposed to figure everything out on their own.

But we were never designed to walk alone.

Rooted & Established is a community for Christian women over 40 who want to grow deeper in Christ, learn to abide rather than strive, and encourage one another through the changing seasons of life.

And right now, Rooted & Established is FREE for a limited time.

If you’re ready to go beyond simply consuming Christian content and want a place where you can learn, reflect, ask questions, and grow alongside other women, I’d love to have you join us.

Come pull up a chair.

Let’s become women who are rooted in Christ and resilient in every season.