What the Church Forgot to Tell You About Proverbs 31: There’s a Backstory
I’m glad to report that having read and re-read Proverbs chapter 31 I’ve discovered more than I first realized. There is a great deal more, in fact, to this precious chapter than what we’ve been taught in church.
Growing up in church and in all my “married to the ministry” life, the Proverbs 31 woman has intimidated me. I struggle enough with insecurity and worthlessness without comparing myself to Mrs. Perfection.
Measuring up to the Proverbs 31 ideal has always made me feel less than “great” about myself or my ability to be a godly woman. There’s just too much pressure found in this chapter to keep up with all of the areas of life this woman did to perfection.
Women have been directed to this passage for aspirations on becoming a godly woman, but especially when it comes to married women. Historically, biblical women were expected to become wives and mothers and to attend to their homes with dignity and grace. While I agree that this is still important, modern women often feel the Proverbs 31 woman excludes them from honor if marriage and motherhood have not manifested in their lives.
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It’s my honest opinion that God has called all of His daughters into various roles in the work of His kingdom and in raising up others in the love of Jesus and in obedience to His word. Our modern culture has allowed us to share the gospel in more ways than ever thought possible by the Old Testament women we read about.
I’m not suggesting that we dismiss this chapter for the principles it teaches, or to consider the wisdom we find here to be useful, but I am asking that we take a different look at what this chapter is all about. Another look at this chapter in Proverbs will allow us to see much more than we’ve been told.
Instead of jumping right into verse 10 for our study here, we will begin at the beginning to gain some context and background for the wisdom Mrs. Proverbs 31 teaches us. We need to know the backstory if we are expected to grow into the example given in this chapter for Christain women.
WHO IS KING LEMUEL?
In verse 1, we read the following:
The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him. (BibleGateway.com)
A general google search for this king lets us learn that King Lemuel is a reference to King Solomon, the wisest King to ever rule, the author of the book of Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and the Song of Songs. This assertion comes from Jewish legend and is believed to be true since no other mention of “Lemuel” is named in the Bible.
Solomon’s name means “peaceful one”. His rule came behind his father, King David, who was a warring king. God had promised King David that Solomon’s rule would be under a peaceful time, and it was.
Here in chapter 31, we find that King Solomon’s mother taught him these “inspired utterances”. As we look more closely, we’ll find that she was quite emphatic that he listened and took heed to her words.
You can read the entire chapter of Proverbs 31.
WHO IS THE KING’S MOTHER?
If King Lemuel were in fact King Solomon, then we can determine that Bathsheba, King David’s wife he obtained by adultery and murder, was King Lemul’s mother. I know, there is so much we need to dissect here, but let’s keep on the subject for this blog post.
At a closer look, here in the first few verses of Proverbs 31, we find that this woman was instructing her son on some serious matters. Matters that would not only affect him personally, but in the relationships he entertained and the rule of his kingdom.
This mother gave her son such strong admonition that he took note and made it part of what we know as the Holy Bible today. I believe the Lord intends for us to know what she said to her son BEFORE we try to jump into the Proverbs 31 Woman example. Maybe the church forgot to tell us about this part of the chapter.
WHAT DID HIS MOTHER TELL HIM?
In verses 1- 9, the King’s mother told him first of all how important he was to her. I’m a mother of three sons, so I get her passion here. Let’s look:
2
Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb!
Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!
3
Do not spend your strength[a] on women,
your vigor on those who ruin kings.
4
It is not for kings, Lemuel—
it is not for kings to drink wine,
not for rulers to crave beer,
5
lest they drink and forget what has been decreed,
and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
6
Let beer be for those who are perishing,
wine for those who are in anguish!
7
Let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.
8
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
9
Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.
REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE:
First, this mother is insistent that her son know who he is, “son of my womb…answer to my prayers” (2 Samuel 11-12). She had prayed for this man since before he was born. Her heartfelt prayers were so important that she insisted that he know about them.
Second, she commands him to not “spend his strength on women”. Oddly, she uses the plural not the singular word. She knew from experience what the pleasures of women can do to the strength of a man. She had an upfront view of how “too many women” can be a distraction to a man and impede his ability to rule his life well. Her son was a king, he should not allow himself to be weakened by the influence of a harem of women.
REMEMBER YOUR PLACE:
Kings are in positions of great power and the need for discretion, wisdom, and sound judgment are necessary. Her admonition here is “it is not for kings to drink wine”.
We can’t be certain from this exact text, but wine wasn’t necessarily to be absent from the king’s table since wine was a customary beverage to serve. However, I believe her instruction here to be what we might think of when Paul says, And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” Ephesians 5:1820 KJV
