If you’ve been on this journey with me for very long, you’ve probably heard me say that Christian women are not called to strive. We’ve been invited to abide in Christ.
If you’re new here, you may enjoy my previous post about learning to move from striving to abiding in Christ.
My prayer is that as we continue learning together, our hearts begin to long for this kind of relationship with Jesus , one rooted not in pressure or performance, but in closeness and trust.
You see, when we strive to be the perfect Proverbs 31 woman…
When we work really hard to demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit out of our own strength…
We often find ourselves feeling more frustrated than fulfilled, quietly asking the same question:
Why am I not growing spiritually?
That question often leads us to another important one:
What might be blocking the growth of spiritual fruit in my life?
Before we explore that together, let me encourage you with something important.
You’re doing better than you think.
The very fact that you are even considering your spiritual growth is evidence that God is already at work in your heart. Sometimes growth begins deep in the soul long before we see visible fruit in our lives.
And let me gently remind you of something I’ve learned in my own walk with the Lord:
Spiritual maturity is not about arriving at some final destination.
It’s about walking a lifelong journey toward a deeper, sweeter relationship with Jesus.
What Might Be Blocking My Spiritual Growth?
Galatians 5:22–23 tells us what the fruit of the Spirit looks like in the life of a believer. But we’ve already established something important:
These virtues are produced by the Holy Spirit, not manufactured by our efforts at self-improvement.
Yet if the fruit of the Spirit is not growing, it can be helpful to prayerfully consider what might be hindering its development.
In Jesus’ teaching about the Vine and the branches, He explains that the Master Gardener lovingly tends the vine by pruning the branches so they can produce even more fruit.
Keeping that picture in mind can help us approach this next part with humility and openness.
Sometimes God lovingly invites us to release certain things in our hearts and lives so He can do deeper work within us.
Jesus said:
“Every branch in me that does not produce fruit he removes, and he prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit.” — John 15:2 (CSB)
Take a few quiet moments to reflect on the areas below. You may even want to journal your thoughts.
And friend, if this feels like a difficult exercise, you’re not alone. I understand that personally.
But this kind of honest reflection is often where growth truly begins for the Proverbs 31 Woman.
Reflect On These Areas
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Unforgiveness
Is there someone in your life you’re still holding an offense against?
I know this can be incredibly difficult. Pain and hurt can run deep. But forgiveness is not about excusing someone else’s behavior.
Forgiveness releases you from the bitterness that can quietly consume the heart over time.
Freedom begins when we place those hurts in God’s hands.
“For you were called to be free, brothers and sisters… serve one another through love. For the whole law is fulfilled in one statement: Love your neighbor as yourself.” — Galatians 5:13–14 (CSB)
💙 Take a moment or two to pray and ask God if there is anyone you need to forgive?
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Hurry
Is your schedule so full that it’s hard to find time to simply be still with the Lord?
Many women today live at a relentless pace. But spiritual fruit grows best in a life that allows room for quiet with God.
“Stop striving and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10 (NASB)
Maybe you need a daily rhythm of spending time with God. Schedule that as an important appointment.
💙 Take the time to review your calendar. Is there any room for spiritual growth and development? Make the changes you need to in order to make space for time devoted to God.
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Distraction
What distractions might be pulling your attention away from what matters most?
Sometimes it’s constant media consumption. Sometimes it’s worry about tomorrow. Other times it may be relationships or responsibilities that have quietly taken center stage in our hearts.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow…” — Matthew 6:33–34 (CSB)
💙What is your biggest distraction right now?
💙When you think about spending more time in prayer and Bible reading, what
keeps you distracted?
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Fear of Surrender
Is there an area of your life where trusting God feels difficult?
Full surrender can feel intimidating, but it is often where the deepest transformation happens.
“If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” — Mark 8:34 (CSB)
💙Ask yourself if you’ve felt God’s tender nudge to release something that is not serving your desire for spiritual growth. Be willing to talk to God about it, then trust Him as you step into obedience.
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Self-Reliance
Are you tired of trying to carry everything on your own, including your efforts to be a “good Christian”?
Jesus never asked us to produce fruit by sheer determination.
He simply asked us to remain close to Him.
“Remain in me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me.” — John 15:4–5 (CSB)
💙 Is there any attitude of “I don’t need God for this?” or, “God doesn’t need to be bothered with this…?” Ask Him to reveal to you any area of pride you need to surrender.
The process of spiritual growth can sometimes feel challenging.
But Scripture reminds us that even the difficult seasons serve a purpose.
“No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” — Hebrews 12:11 (CSB)
Friend, God is always at work in the lives of those who love Him.
Sometimes the work looks like growth.
Sometimes it looks like pruning.
But both are evidence of His loving care.
Continue Growing With Me
If this topic encourages you, I’d love to continue the conversation with you.
Check out my latest video on these 5 Reasons Your Spiritual Growth is Blocked.
Join me for regular Bible teachings for Christian women over 40 who want to grow spiritually, slow down from striving, and learn how to truly abide in Christ.
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