Have you ever noticed that you can love the Lord deeply and still feel completely overwhelmed?
I recently felt this way after leading worship at our church. Everything went according to plan, but I noticed all the mistakes. I made mental notes of what needed to be addressed or adjusted for the next week… and that only added to the stress I felt.
When I lead worship, my desire is to point others to Jesus so they can experience His presence.
But this time, I felt like I had simply moved through the motions.
I went home exhausted. Overwhelmed. Carrying a mental list of what needed to improve before next Sunday.
And it hit me. Even in ministry, striving can quietly sneak back in.
Spiritual Growth Over 40
Here in midlife, I’ve also found myself waking at random hours in the night thinking about:
- Aging parents
- Adult children
- Health concerns
- Ministry responsibilities
- Financial decisions
- The quiet ache of transition
Midlife carries weight.
And sometimes that weight spills over into our spiritual lives.
We still read our Bibles. We still pray. We still serve.
But instead of peace, we feel pressure.
Instead of growth, we feel behind.
We find ourselves thinking, I’m not where I want to be spiritually.
And then the questions surface:
“Why don’t I feel like I’m growing the way I used to?”
“Why do I feel so overwhelmed?”
Why Spiritual Growth Feels Different in Midlife
When we were younger in our faith, growth often felt emotional.
New revelations meant “God is speaking to me!”
New excitement meant “God is answering my prayers!”
New energy meant “God is doing something fresh!”
We sometimes measured spiritual growth by how we felt.
But after 40, growth often shifts from visible to internal. From emotional highs to quiet knowing.
In John 15:5, Jesus says:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit.”
Notice the emphasis: remain.
He does not say:
- Accelerate.
- Achieve.
- Impress.
- Perfect yourself.
He says remain.
Abiding is not frantic. It is steady.
And steady can feel slow.
But slow does not mean stagnant. It often means roots are going deeper than before.
The quiet ache of transition may actually be evidence of a seasoned spiritual journey.
We’ve learned to trust Him in hardship. We’ve learned to anchor ourselves in His Word. Instead of chasing emotions for confirmation of His activity, we’ve learned to seek Him with patience.
That is growth, even if it feels quieter.
The Hidden Connection Between Overwhelm and Striving
Here’s something we don’t talk about enough:
Overwhelm often pushes us back into striving.
When life feels chaotic, we instinctively try to regain control.
We:
- Add more structure and tweak our daily rhythms.
- Try harder spiritually, pick up a new Bible, start another reading plan, and begin a fresh study.
- Add more “disciplines” like fasting or giving up social media.
- Promise God we’ll be more consistent this time.
But spiritual fruit is not produced by pressure.
It grows in presence.
I truly believe that resting in the presence of God is one of the most important things we can do when we feel overwhelmed.
In James 1:4, we’re told:
“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete.”
Let.
That word alone invites surrender.
To let means to allow. To permit. To release control.
The tone of this verse isn’t force, it’s trust.
Letting God form something deeper in us comes from abiding in Him, not striving harder. It’s the quiet assurance that we can rest in His care while He develops a richer level of spiritual maturity within us.
Rest Is Not Spiritual Laziness, It’s Spiritual Trust
This is where many Christian women get stuck.
Rest can feel irresponsible.
Especially when:
- There’s so much to manage.
- So many people depend on you.
- So many transitions happening at once.
But biblical rest is not withdrawal.
It is recalibration.
It’s choosing to sit in God’s presence long enough for your nervous system, and your spirit, to settle.
It’s opening Scripture not to check a box, but to breathe.
It’s praying not to perform, but to surrender — hands and heart open before the Lord.
When Jesus calls us to abide in John 15, He is inviting us into a deeper relationship, not increased responsibility.
And here is the beautiful truth:
When we rest in His presence, clarity comes.
When we rest in His presence, peace steadies us.
When we rest in His presence, fruit forms quietly beneath the surface.
What If Slower Growth Is Actually Deeper Growth?
Midlife growth is often quieter. Less dramatic. More anchored.
We no longer rely on spiritual “highs” to gauge our relationship with God. Instead, we look for steadiness.
You may begin to notice:
- You react more calmly than you used to.
- You trust God faster than before.
- You recover from disappointment with less bitterness.
- You carry tension with steadier faith.
That is fruit. And fruit takes time.
In Philippians 1:6, we’re reminded:
“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…”
God is not rushed.
He is not behind schedule in your life.
If You Feel Overwhelmed Right Now
Let me gently say this:
The most productive thing you can do today may not be doing more.
It may be sitting still. Remaining. Abiding.
Rest long enough in God’s presence for your striving to soften.
Because all the clarity you’re searching for…
All the peace you long for…
All the spiritual growth you hope to see…
Flows from staying connected to the Vine.
