The Stranger I Started Comparing Myself To
The other day, I caught myself comparing myself to another woman.
I didn’t even know her!
That’s the thing about comparison, it doesn’t ask permission before entering our thoughts.
I wasn’t competing with her and she wasn’t comparing herself to me.
Yet within seconds, I’d begun measuring myself against a complete stranger.
Then I caught myself and thought, “Why am I doing this? She’s a stranger.”
That’s the thing about comparison. It slips into our thinking before we even realize it’s there.
Comparison causes us to look sideways instead of upward
Ephesians chapter 1 tells us our identity as Christ followers.
As believers, we are blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, forgiven, and redeemed through Jesus Christ.
The age-old question the serpent asked Eve in the Garden of Eden is often where comparison begins:
“Did God really say?”
The moment Eve doubted what God had said, her focus shifted.
Instead of trusting God’s goodness, she began looking at what she thought she lacked.
Comparison often works the same way in our lives
We wonder, too, “Did God really say…”
And then our eyes begin to look around.
We look around for the approval of others instead of standing firm in the calling of our identity.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?
Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people,
I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10 NIV
Comparison Makes Us Seek Approval Instead of Identity
If I constantly compare myself, my life, and my belongings to others, I will miss the genuine gift of my identity in Christ.
Comparison Turns Blessings Into Burdens
As a Christian woman of God, treasuring my blessings brings contentment.
Now godliness with contentment is great gain.
1 Timothy 6:6 NKJV
Comparison has a way of making God’s gifts to us feel small simply because someone else’s gifts look different.
One of comparison’s greatest lies is that someone else’s blessing somehow diminishes our own.
- Her marriage
- Her ministry
- Her home
- Her appearance
- Her retirement
- Her grandchildren
- Her influence
Comparison causes us to look at our own blessings and think:
“Not enough.”
2 Corinthians 10:12 tells us:
“When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”
Our problems aren’t that our blessings are not good enough, it’s that we aren’t content. This leads us to miss our assignments.
Comparison Distracts Us From Our Assignment
Our role model as Christian women has always been the Proverbs 31 Woman. As we read and study her life, she lived in seasons, we find that she moved with purpose and direction.
We might say she understood her assignment.
I wonder if you understand yours today?
God hasn’t called you to become a better version of yourself. He’s called you to follow Jesus
God hasn’t called you to be distracted by influencers and home improvement, not the latest fashion or beauty trends.
God hasn’t called you to strive for perfection, either. He’s invited you to abide.
His desire is that we be faithful right where He’s planted us.
God didn’t ask you to be her.
In John 21, we find a tender moment between Jesus and Peter. Peter has betrayed Jesus and yet Jesus restored him to the ministry.
Peter wanted to know “what about him?” referring to young John.
Jesus firmly responds:
“What is that to you? You follow me.“
My Friend, God never intended another woman’s calling to become the measuring stick for yours.
Gratitude Is the Antidote to Comparison
When I realized my silent comparison with the stranger that day, I was also thankful.
I was thankful that the Lord, in His compassion, allowed me to see where my mind was about to go.
Within minutes, I could have convinced myself I needed a new wardrobe, different shoes, or a completely different style. That’s how quickly comparison can move from observation to dissatisfaction.
Instead, I began a conversation with the Lord with gratitude for allowing me to see that my identity is not measured by how I compare to someone else.
I began to thank God for…
- what He’s done
- what He’s given
- what He’s teaching
- where He’s growing me
Comparison says:
“I wish I had what she has.”
Gratitude says:
“Lord, thank You for what You’ve entrusted to me.”
Contentment grows when we remember our identity in Christ.
Freedom Comes When We Abide in Christ
The less I need my worth validated by appearance, achievement, or approval, the less comparison controls my thinking.
In the next post, we’ll explore how biblical confidence grows when our identity is firmly rooted in Christ rather than in performance.
I can rest knowing that true confidence isn’t found in my performance.
I can rest securely in who Christ says I am.
As I abide in Him, the fruit of the Spirit, which is self-control, will grow and flourish.
Finding contentment in my identity as a Christian woman will be the overflow.
Freedom from comparison doesn’t happen because we suddenly become more confident.
Freedom comes when we become more convinced of who we are in Christ.
The more secure we are in our identity in Christ, the less we need validation from appearance, achievement, influence, or approval.
YOUR TURN:
How has comparison caused you to shrink away from your identity and assignment as a woman of God?
My friend, we’ve all fallen victim to the comparison trap. But remember, gratitude shifts our focus from “not enough” to thanksgiving and celebration of our identity and worth found in Jesus Christ.
If you missed part one of this series, you can find it here>> {What Biblical Dignity Really Looks Like}
Before you go…
Will you drop a comment and let me know that I’m not the ONLY ONE who sometimes gets distracted by comparison?
